I would just like to say that I liked Chris Pine before he was in Star Trek and famous.  That's right, from The Princess Diaries 2.  I couldn't decide between Callum Blue with the British accent and Chris Pine with the hotness, but I was always drawn towards Chris Pine.  Now if only he had a British accent...!

I KNOW I made the right choice.  But why does making the right choice have to be so hard?  I was doing great tonight...ok well not great, but I was actually really enjoying reading about Greek and Albanian conflict (I know, light reading, right?!) when I decided to turn on some music.  An Orkila song comes on.  I actually get really happy and end up on the Orkila blog page.  There are video updates about camp on there.  It was SO hard to watch them.  They were funny and I enjoyed watching them but at the same time they pulled so hard on my heartstrings.  I don't think I can even begin to wrap my mind around the fact that I'm not going back there at all.  That I'm not going to lead value sessions or eat meals with my kids in the lodge.  I even found myself missing packing for outtrip.  I know I can go back and I've already planned like three trips up there but it's not the same.  I stood on the corner and took a right turn to the real life.  But the funny thing is, my real life turn is also my hopes and dreams.  It's just really hard to see that sometimes when I'm not in the classroom.  As dramatic as it sounds, I truly believe this is one of the hardest decisions I will ever have to make.  I had to decide when I was going to grow up, simply put.  When I'm actually in a classroom, getting to know my kids, I know things will be different.  But I have to get through this summer first before I'm working with kids.  I almost wish there wasn't an option for me to go to school this summer.  I want to have both.  But you can't have your cake and eat it too, blah blah blah.

I am having serious issues focusing in the library.  I've tried to come here and take notes on this stupid book twice now, and I just can't do it.  I really need to just suck it up and check it out to take home for 2 hours, so I can at least distract myself with TV while I'm taking notes.  If only my bike tires weren't flat...I NEED to remember to grab a new bike pump from home...one that's NOT broken.

I haven't mentioned it before but our 2 family cars haven't been starting so great lately.  To the point that my dad had to get the van towed.  So when we took it in to the shop, they said they thought mice were eating at our wires.  GROSS!  My parents park in a pretty sketch garage downtown (don't worry, they hate it too, but we are used to a really nice one), so we think that's where it's coming from.  When I would drive the white car, it would smell weird, and apparently the van used to too.  It kind of smelled like cat pee, which I attributed to "cooking mouse poop," and my mom just loved that description!  Anyways, they took the white car in to get it checked out too, and when the mechanic opened the hood, a 5-inch white field mouse was staring back up at him.  Cute and disgusting all in one!  So now we're not sure where the mice are, because the white car was at home, so either it rode home in the car or the mice are at home.  But I've never seen mice there before.  They're not even sure where that one white mouse went, cause the mechanic tried to chase it out, but they don't know if it's still in the car or outside or in the mechanic's office.  Way to go.  Hopefully everything is fixed now though.

I got that nanny job (not sure if I mentioned that)!  Almost every weekend plus several days she wants me to stay overnight, which is fine, I'm just NEVER going to be home!  Hopefully the 10-year-old likes me as much as the 12-year-old did!  I don't start for about a month but I'm kind of excited.  Who knows if they'll actually even need a nanny next year or if I'll be around, but that would be fun.

I bought my tix to Oakland and I'm also having my OTF interview while I'm down there.  Finally the dates worked out.  But I don't know what I'm going to teach for my 5 minute lesson plan.  You're supposed to do your lesson plan at about the grade level you want to teach at, but I kind of want to steal my pre-algebra teacher's lesson plan and teach simple algebra, like 9x + 7 = 10 - 3x.  Hmm...what do 5th graders learn...

P.S. I've started looking into Western again just so I can get certified.  The application deadline is April 1st, so I've got some time.  Hmm...
P.P.S. I think Harris and I are better now.  We talked and I'm going to the doctor on Thursday anyways.

T.I.R.E.D.  I feel like I haven't gotten enough sleep lately, and last night I got the most.  And of course, I have to get up at the CRACK OF DAWN tomorrow morning for my WEST-B tests, which I haven't really studied for.  I don't think I need to study that much, but I should probably look things over at least.  I also should go to the library after class today so I can finish taking notes on geology stuff.  But I'm just so tired; I want to come home to take a nap.  AND I have an interview at 3 for camp, so i can't even come home after Greek and sleep.

Yesterday I went to one of the best Greek restaurants!  It's in Kirkland and I talked to the guy in Greek.  The cook speaks Spanish, so that restaurant is probably the one place in the world that speaks all three languages I do!  SUCH good food, and he gave us some stuff for free, per Greek tradition!

My interview for the 2 girls went REALLY well.  I guess I know how to be a friend to 12 year old girls!  Hopefully the lady calls me back soon; it seemed like I was her first choice but who knows.

Still trying to get all my grad school stuff together.  I was going to work on writing my personal statement in psych today, but I haven't done my Greek homework so I guess I'll do it then.  I suppose I could do it now but...  I also could skip class, but we are having a guest lecturer about infant sign language, which sounds really interesting.  I'm such a slacker, at least homework wise.  Speaking of being a slacker, I just completely BOMBED my geology midterm.  Like HELLA BAD!  Ugh, my grades do NOT need this.  At least my transcript gets sent before this quarter ends.  Although I'm a bit confused about that, because it says they already got it, but I haven't sent it yet.  I'm thinking it's because it was to UW Tacoma, and do I really need to send a transcript to basically the same school?  I mean, they're all on the same system.  I'll have to check, but that would be awesome, cause then I don't have to pay for transcripts!

I made $1050 last for Partners with Youth, so that sends a kid to Orkila for a week and a half!  That's a ridiculous amount, especially considering this year and one night I didn't make anything.  One of Pullyou's friends donated $750 but I still earned $300 from other people too!  I'm also excited to see camp people tomorrow for the victory celebration.  I hope there's some good stuff...and some new and good Orkila stuff too!

I need to figure out my Oakland plans.  The March 15th interview comes at a bad time, especially with plane tickets as I'm trying to fly back that day.  And it's annoying because I'm going to be BACK in Oakland a week later to do classroom stuff with Becca.  Argh.  I could wait till April 4, but 1) that's REALLY late to have an interview with all the other stuff going in my life and 2) it's a week AFTER I would be in Oakland.  Why couldn't they work it out better for my schedule!?  Argh.  I need to buy plane tickets fast.  What days are good for you for my spring break, Becca?

P.S. I figured my icon was appropriate as 1) I just bombed my geology midterm (rocks) and 2) my prof is a dude (although he is pretty cool).  And I DON'T CARE what KIND of rocks I would throw!

I have 2 job interviews lined up in the next 3 days.  Today I am meeting a family of 3 boys, 5, 3, and 10 months.  Definitely not my forte and I'm a little nervous about that.  On Tuesday I'm meeting a family that has 2 girls, 10 and 12, which is PERFECT for me.  The only thing is, they live far away, like an hour bus ride.  If I get the job, maybe Mom and Dad will let me use the car...

I also got offered an interview for Oakland Teaching Fellows.  But because I waited A DAY to figure out my travel plans, the dates that I wanted are gone.  Ugh.  Most likely the next date I can go is April 4th, meaning I won't find out about it before ANY camp stuff, or probably not even grad school either.  I thought stuff was going so well a couple days ago; I was being productive about grad school and I got an interview...ugh, well we'll see.

Things haven't always gone my way before; it's not like this is unusual.  Life isn't fair; things happen for a reason; cliches cliches.  But I don't understand how I can want something SO bad and I think I deserve and am qualified for and not get what I want.  I think I worked hard for it.  I'm working ridiculously hard trying to figure out what to do instead of my original plans.  And nothing is working out right.  From broken websites to non-existent degrees and difficult parents, it's not working.  And I don't think I'm making some of my decisions impartially.  I may be indirectly influenced by friends and their different locations.  I don't know what to do.  I'm looking at alternative options and none of them work out either.  It's been three weeks and I still want to cry.  It feels like it's been longer.  I don't know if I have been properly upset yet.

The thing about making a plan before is that there is a possilibility you'll have to make a new one.  Which unfortunately is where I find myself.

The Variables:
When: Take a year off, go to get my MIT right away, or just get certified to teach in WA and get a job?
Where: Most likely WWU, but in Seattle or Bellingham?
What: Elementary or secondary?

Crap, I don't know.

I didn't get it.  What I've been hoping for for a year now.  I don't want to talk about it, at least not yet.  Let me watch my Grey's Anatomy and West Wing in peace please.

Yay for people knowing my movie quotes!  Here are the ones people didn't get:

1. The Parent Trap (with Lindsay Lohan)
3. White Christmas
7. The American President
8. Mr. and Mrs. Smith
9. Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights

Here's a movie meme I stole from Cat, cause these kinds of things are always more fun than doing hw.

Rules:
+ Pick 15 of your favorite movies.
+ Go to IMDb and find a quote from each movie.
+ Post them here for everyone to guess.
+ Strike it out when someone guesses correctly, and put who guessed it and the movie.
+ NO GOOGLING/using IMDb search functions

1. Character 1: That girl is without a doubt, the lowest, most awful creature to ever walk the planet!
Character 2: Thank you, thank you very much.

2. I'm a full-time dad. I'm a working parent. I'm a mother and a father. I'm a guy who reads parenting books and cookbooks before I go to sleep. I spend my weekends buying tutus. I'm learning to sew. I'm Mr. Napkin Head!  The Holiday cachecache

3. I want you to get married. I want you to have nine children. And if you only spend five minutes a day with each kid, that's forty-five minutes, and I'd at least have time to go out and get a massage or something.

4. Character 1: True love is your soul's recognition of its counterpoint in another.
Character 2: It's a little cheesy but I like it. Wedding Crasherskonstantine316

5. Wear them. They'll make you brave.  Sisterhood of the Traveling Pantskonstantine316

6. Oh please... she's a heartbeat away from tattooing your name on her ass. Center Stage cataroo

7. At 5:45. Five forty-five doesn't do me any good, Louis. Five forty-five, network news is in makeup. (So this one isn't from IMDB but it's one of my favorite quotes from this movie!)

8. Wait, why do I get the girl gun?

9. In a circle, a circle... that's a box.

10. Character 1: There was more than one lobster present at the birth of Jesus?
Character 2: Duh. Love Actually glassylunacy

11. Character 1: But... she's being so *difficult*!
Character 2: Gently... gently... Beauty and the Beast cachecache

12. Character 1: Excuse me, sir, you're standing on my sleeve.
Character 2: Am I? So sorry. I might point out you're lying under my bench. Finding Neverland dum_dum

13. Honestly, don't you two read? Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone cachecache

14. Shut up? Shut up??? Mom never said shut up to me! Mom never yelled at me!  Sleepless in Seattlekonstantine316

15. The Godfather answers all of life's questions. What should I pack for my summer vacation? "Leave the gun, take the cannoli."  You've Got Mail cachecache

Is it possible to be influenced by someone you've never met and really don't even know that much about?  There could be a really simple answer to this question if you think I'm talking about some historical figure.  But what if it's someone real, someone you feel like you could have known, someone other people you know have known.

This is more a question for Becca, but any thoughts are always nice to hear.

Is it shallow of me that I really like when I straighten my hair?  I just feel a little bit more pulled together.
Going to class and then to the library for an hour.  I'm really trying to get my work done cause of my birthday shenanigans but I'm running out of time!  I also am going to PWY so there's 3 hours out of my night just sitting there calling people.

I think I slept funny last night, cause my shoulders REALLY hurt.  Harris comes home in like 9 hours, so maybe I'll convince him to give me a shoulder massage.  I've been sleeping pretty much day and night these past few days, but I'm feeling somewhat more rested and less stressed, so hopefully it's helping.  What did  NOT help was the continuous fights with my parents about money issues that I thought were already solved.  Frustration.  Whatever.  I still have a lot of reading to do, and that's not even counting the Augustus piece I skipped.  But come on, it was 57 pages long and I already skipped most of the Caesar, which was 51.  Because the next section is spread out over a couple days, I'm going to try and read that one.  Probably not a great idea that I skipped the readings, especially cause I missed class on Thursday, but oh well, I'll do what I can to catch up later.
Drank with Meaghan and her friend last night.  Kind of sucked though cause then they left to go to the bar and Kayla was out too.  I'm sure her date thinks I'm a crazy drunk psycho but whatever, I don't care.  I was going to go meet them for pizza but I couldn't really get up, which was probably a good thing anyways cause I guess they got carded.  All right, back to more reading.  Don't you hate when you have a scratch in your throat, but every time you cough, it just doesn't get the right spot?  That's what I'm dealing with right now, in case you wanted to know.

School starts today and I can't sleep.  This sucks.  And I don't think I can't sleep cause Harris isn't here but that could always be part of it.  God I'm going to be a wreck in a week.  I'm just not going to think about it and enjoy this next week.

I'm completely in my new place and it's nice.  Kind of weird still but I'm adapting.  I feel so young but I'll be 21 soon enough haha.  But cause I'm living here that obviously means Becca isn't which sucks.  I called her today and it was really great to talk to her but it's weird she's gone.  It's really going to mess me up when everyone's getting excited that she's coming back, but I'm not,going to be here for that.  Poo.  Hopefully we can still meet up at Heathrow though when Kay and I go to Spain.

Hung out with Kay tonight after going to Thai for the second day in a row.  They got rid of the beef and so my favorite meal is just not the same anymore.  Saw the Hansee peeps which is nice, but I don't really want to work.  Hopefully I'll still have Kay and Peter to come keep me company!  ;)

Really enjoyed seeing all the camp people over break.  I actually had a really good time overall when I stopped by Annika's party, but I wish Harris had had a better time.  I feel like even when I'm not drinking I still like going to parties and hanging out with people, but I do get his point about not knowing anyone.  I told him it felt kind of weird to introduce him as my boyfriend to them and as I said that I realized that sounded really bad.  I mean, that's something that Becca and I talk about all the time; how people introduce us.  I tried to explain it, and I think it's just because they are my band people and aside from the fact that there were a few exes there, a lot of them haven't been around me whenever I've dated someone and I don't want a reaction of shock when they hear I am, even if they are just joking.  Hey, I'm a catch!  ;)  I really should work on that though, because I'm ridiculously lucky to have found him and I really do want everyone to know about him.  I also said that anyone who I actually cared about what they thought has for sure heard me talk about him, so they should know and maybe assume who he is when I introduce him.  Whatever.
    Anyways, the camp parties were fun.  Harris' and my birthday party went really well and we got to see the Spaniards and the Tennessee girls (minus Abbey Jaffe) and even Colin Smith showed up (which was a little funny).  Katie's was nice too and Anna and I hella got to hang out a bunch.  I forgot how much I love that girl and I'm SO upset she's not going to be able to come back this summer.  She's not even going to be back in Seattle when school gets out cause she's studying abroad in London, and not even at a time when I can come visit her!  :(  But she said she's going to try and do second half, which would be great!

K I should try to go to bed again, even if I am the only one in my bed.  Harumph.  ;)

Merry Christmas everyone!
Does everyone else feels the same way I do?  Family really starts to drive me crazy.  I feel like I'm 12 again and I'm getting blamed for everything that my sister does.  Oh no, she doesn't have a crappy attitude or make snarky comments, I do.  :-(  I usually have this sort of attitude that no one leaves the house Christmas Day and no one should really come other than family.  But Sam already left to go to Joey's earlier today and I'm going crazy, so Harris said he would come rescue me later if I wanted.
That's another thing.  My sister's a fucking workaholic so she has loads of money and of course, my parents think she's the most amazing kid in the world.  And she feels like the one that's one step behind.  Bullshit.

I got my guitar, which made me excited, and my camera that I ordered online.  Somehow I don't think I'll be able to convince my parents to buy me a Canon Rebel SLR Digital camera for Greece.  And all my sheets and new down comforter and stuff.  Harris got me a sugar cookie candle and HP5, which is my favorite candle scent and he knew that I didn't have that movie.  There's another part of the present which I think is a long lighter, cause I have candles that I can't reach with my short lighter.  I got him this really nice caribeener clip-on watch with a really strong light and it glows in the dark.  I think I did pretty well on that! ;-)

I'm so tired, but I want to see Harris.  I'm gonna go chill for a while; my fingers hurt from playing guitar so much today.  Hey, I guess that goofing around in independent study with Nancy is actually going to good use!

I was just looking at pictures of Ioannina (http://ioanninadailyphoto.blogspot.com/) and I want to leave NOW!  Maybe I should start learning Greek over break...

I wouldn't be Mini Cooper unless I was living her life exactly, right!?  Yeah, I might be moving into her apartment.  It actually works out really well cause I'm only going to be here for a quarter longer and hopefully I can find someone like me last year to move into my place!  Becca says she "has" to leave her queen size bed, which I'm definitely not going to argue with, and I MAY even get to use her car!  :-D  I've already gotten a few responses about my room, which makes me hopeful.  We'll see!

Ok I'll give in and post.
So I've been REALLY upset the last couple days.  My house is made really shittily and it's flooded like 3 times in the past year.  Well, it happened again and this time, it happened to my room too.  I was able to stay at Kayla's one night, but I couldn't the next.  This is ridiculous.  I'm fucking paying for a room and I'm sleeping on my couch and waking up when the sun comes out.  Plus I left my cell phone charger at Kayla's so I couldn't even call Harris and complain.

On the opposite end of things, Harris comes home in 10 days and I couldn't be more excited.  I know I don't sound like it right now, but I'm exhausted and stressed.  Finals suck and I haven't even started yet!  Anyways, I can't believe he'll be home so soon.  It's been like 72 days or something since I've last seen him and then he'll be home for a whole month!  We are going to go ice skating and do all the couple-y things around the holidays; I've never gotten to do that before!  I can't even think of words to describe this right now.  I felt really bad yesterday cause he was trying to cheer me up and find me a place to stay and I was in that mood where you just don't want to be cheered up and you just want to wallow a little.  Yet he still stuck by me and put up with my crabbiness!

I found out that got into the Greece program so I am going to go to Ioannina, Greece during spring quarter!  Kayla got in too so my best friend and I are going to Europe!  We want to go to Britain first Kay has some family friends there and I know all my camp people.  We have 10 days in the middle of the quarter for Easter holiday so Kay and I are going down to the Greek Isles, which means I get to go to Santorini!  Finally!  I've been talking about it for years and I finally get to go!

All right, let's hope my day/weekend gets better.  They are finishing my room right now, but they've already been working for 2 hours and aren't done yet.  This is bullshit and I still have to spend twenty million hours cleaning.  I just contacted a couple people to see if they want to take over my lease cause I have a CRAZY ASS landlord, and then I can take over Becca's lease while she's gone.  Hmm...hopefully I get some responses.